Leadership Coaching Notes – June 2012
Alec was 20 years younger than the average age of his executive team peers, but they all agreed that he “had it all” – strategic vision and operational excellence. He engaged everyone, handled challenges with calm effectiveness, and learned fast. No one realized he was about to walk into significant danger that he’d help create.
What Put Alec at Risk
When I observed Alec speak to 25 top leaders, he was clear, concise, engaging and … collapsed. His posture reminded me of a young boy submitting before a threatening adult – sunken chest, rounded shoulders, hands in his pockets and eyes looking out from a lowered face. His brilliance and stance were strikingly incongruent.
Alec was soon to take his first turn at representing his company at a meeting of New York business analysts, but his posture would invite them to treat him like hungry lions that just spotted an injured young antelope.
What Worked:
I took one picture of his posture and showed it to him. He cringed. He had never realized he looked so vulnerable. What he internally perceived as comfortable and normal, others presented as insecure.
Before you present important communications, record yourself. Ignore the awkward discomfort you’ll feel and video yourself. No excuses. Your cell phone video is totally adequate for this job. Watching and listening to yourself is the best way to identify and improve ineffective visual and vocal habits. Choose just 1 or 2 changes and master them before tackling more.
Rebalance your stance. I had Alec shift his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. This subtle adjustment created the impression that he was “ready to play” (as he was.)
Check your balance point. Whether sitting or standing, is your balance more forward or back? You can feel more alert, animated and enthusiastic simply by shifting your posture forward. You can join other influential, powerful people who inspire others in part by leaning slightly forward.
Adjust your spotlights. I asked Alec to imagine he had two spotlights, one in the center of his chest and one in forehead. I asked where they pointed when he was “comfortable.” He reflected, “Hmm, at your waist.” When I asked him to light up my face with both spotlights, his chest expanded and his shoulders relaxed. The new stance conveyed power and confidence that others would subconsciously respect.
Raising your chest spotlight opens room for fuller breathing and gives your voice more clarity and authority. Raising your face invites others to meet you as an equal, not a superior or worse, a predator.
Show there’s nothing up your sleeve. Alec felt most comfortable with his hands in his pockets or folded. The problem is that in most cultures, hidden hands have a long history of hiding weapons or cards with which you’ll cheat. While putting his hands at his sides felt vulnerable to Alec, it put his audience at ease and reduced the chances they’d go after him or his message aggressively
When you use your hands to gesture, keep them open. Other times, relax them at your sides. Your audience will feel reassured, trusting and less defensive as they sense you have nothing to hide.
What Happened:
I took an “after” picture. Alec was amazed at the differences and the impact the 3 simple changes created. He immediately explained his ineffective and desired new habits to a few trusted colleagues who regularly observed him. All agreed on a signal system only known to them; they’d pull on an earlobe to remind Alec to correct if he slipped into his insecure stance.
Not surprisingly, after a few weeks of focused practice, Alec’s first meeting with the analysts was predictably challenging, but they were respectful, not contentious. Despite his age and inexperience, he impressed them with the power of his message and presence.
What’s Next
If you or leaders you are developing want to present with greater influence and want to learn some great tricks to improve your impact quickly and effectively, contact me. The first conversation to get acquainted and explore options is free. Assisting you and leaders you develop to express their values, passion and purpose powerfully is one of my great satisfactions.
Feel free to share these ideas with others and invite them to join our community at www.corporateadventure.com. I welcome your comments below.
All the best,
Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure
Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer
Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Corporate Adventure® © 2012 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”
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