Parenting Your Boss

Leadership Coaching Notes JANUARY 2011

Parenting Your Boss

Research from the Gallup Organization, reported in Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements, © 2010, found that the quality of people’s relationships with their bosses is a major factor in their levels of motivation, productivity, and even physical health. But, they also report a study at Princeton University that found that the person most people LEAST enjoy being around is – drum roll, please – their boss.

Own Your Relationship with Your Boss

While kids enjoy the cathartic game, “Kick the Can,” too many adults enjoy the professional version, “Kick the Boss.” While it’s true that even the best bosses can occasionally be unreasonable, distracted, disruptive, distant, inept, confusing, and infuriating, how much good does it create to kick them for it?

If you are ready to move beyond complaining and build a future you like better, consider treating your boss similar to a youngster you love. Choose to connect from a place of deep regard, curiosity and boundless optimism. Here are a few specific ideas for improving your connection with your boss, and perhaps your boss’ way of connecting with you.

3 Ways to Raise a Better Boss

Know His World: When you love a child, you invest in understanding what he faces in life and what matters to him. How well do you understand your boss’ complex reality? It’s amazingly lonely at the top. What impact would a sincerely interested, trustworthy listener have?

If you expect your boss or your kids to handle the world perfectly, the frustration and irritation you’re sure to feel when they fumble will limit your ability to appreciate them. If you accept that bosses face impossible challenges, feel overwhelmed, and do things they later regret, there is new opportunity for compassion and support. You can ease a lot of tension, fear and upset with interest and acceptance… to everyone’s benefit.

Come Prepared: Kids want different things from parents at different times. Sometimes they want to be spontaneous. Other times they want you to bring something structured and engaging to do. Learn what your boss enjoys. Remember it is a good guess that bosses always find great work, well considered, well prepared, on time and with no surprises really fun and engaging.

How consistently do you prepare what your boss most values – creative ideas, great thinking, high quality projects or relaxing humor? How often do you bring suggestions for making life better for your boss, clients, team and company?

TLC for Your Boss: When bosses do something badly, offer concern, support, coaching and another chance, just as you would do for your kids. We forgive our children dozens of times a day and start fresh the  next morning. What would happen if you offered this gift to your boss, too?

When you hear troubling news they should know, become skillful at talking truth to power. Being kept in the dark and then surprised is scary for kids and bosses. It seldom brings out their best.

Finally, when kids come home with exciting news, they’re thrilled to share with an attentive parent. Who celebrates your boss’ efforts, progress and successes? Are you missing great opportunities to congratulate him, acknowledge his strengths, have fun together and cheer him on? Done sincerely, these are some of the easiest, cheapest, most overlooked, underused yet valued contributions you can make… to kids, bosses, and everyone in your life.

What’s Next?

For as complicated as it is to succeed at business, one of your most perplexing challenges can be working well with your boss. It is also one of your most valuable challenges to master.

If you are struggling with creating a relationship that engages you and your boss positively, go to our website, www.corporateadventure.com and click on Make An Appointment. You can schedule a free 30-minute conversation in which we can explore your situation and new choices.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your ideas and stories about how to improve boss relationships. Please share them at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com and I’ll pass them on.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”