Fearless Presentations

Leadership Coaching Notes February 2007

This issue of Leadership Coaching Notes offers practical steps one leader took to conquer his fear of speaking to important audiences.

Read on to discover which ideas can support your success and help you coach future leaders.

Leadership Challenges

• Do you dread making formal speeches?
• Do you know technical experts who stumble through critical client Q&A
  sessions?

What Worked

Befriend the problem:  Mark knew that when he let fear take over, he fumbled for words and looked like a deer in the headlights when questioned. As a result, he tried to avoid speaking. He tried to control his fear. He tried will power, positive thinking, and even a couple of drinks at lunch. Neither succumbing to his fear nor his trying to control it worked.

In coaching, Mark learned a third option. He befriended the fear. By learning how to explore it as an ally, not an enemy, he discovered it contained valuable guidance. On one occasion, he discovered that he didn’t know his audience well enough. Another time, he realized that he was ignoring his many strengths when he stepped in front of a group. He shifted so he incorporated them. With practice, his fear became a source of his success, not his failure.

What you can do: You can respond to any problem with one of three choices: collapse under it, try to control it, or learn from it. The first two choices assure it will stick around. The third offers resolution.

Take the stance that the problem is a gift. With sincere curiosity explore: What does it want you to know? To learn? To become? Listen with deep curiosity to your gut’s answers, not your mind’s chatter. Writing your questions and answers in a journal for several days can help you move past old stuck places.

Put Your Father in the Closet: Mark heard a “voice of doom” before his presentations. It predicted every disaster that could befall him. When I asked whose voice it was, he was surprised at the question, but paused to consider it. With alarmed recognition, he said, “my dad’s!”
Mark learned to suspend the old berating voice and adopt a new voice, his own, to support his being his best. His ability to distinguish and choose to listen to his own authentic voice took practice, but dramatically reduced his anxiety. Putting his dad in the closet, as often as needed, and listening to constructive support helped Mark stay in the moment and focus on his audience and message.

What you can do: Most of us have an inner voice running “color commentary” about our lives and situations. What does your internal voice say? If it is causing you trouble, ask, “Whose is it?”
You may be surprised to learn, you unwittingly adopted this voice from an authority figure who really did not serve you well at a younger age. You thought he or she knew best. Upon adult reflection, you realize that you would never speak to a person you loved that way and that these old tapes don’t serve your intention or purpose. There is no reason to continue listening to them. Imagine how you would guide and support your own child or a close friend facing your situation. Begin using this caring, constructive voice to support your being your best. Listen to it before, during, and after presenting.

Focus on what you want to give, not what you want to get:: When I asked Mark what was most important about a coming presentation, he said, “that they like me.” I knew he was in trouble. Once he stopped and clarified what he wanted to convey, what value he wanted to give, and how he wanted others to feel when they left, his apprehension vanished and he actually felt some excitement. He was amazed.

What you can do: When you think only about what you want to receive, whether it is the deal, others’ approval, or no questions after you speak, you become preoccupied with fear and “what if” voices.

As soon as you clarify what your audience needs and what you want to contribute to support their success, you begin to treat them as friends, not enemies. They are people with needs you can address, not hairy monsters. You show up concerned about their welfare, not pre-occupied with yours.

Case in Point

Mark knew his career was limited until he mastered speaking to tough audiences. But, the harder he tried, the more anxious he became. Even the tools he received from an expensive professional speakers’ training session didn’t help.

Mark came to me after he “froze” during a high-level presentation. He had been creative enough to leave the podium in a fit of coughing and let a colleague finish for him. He knew he was in trouble and committed to change.

Coaching Impact

Mark learned life-changing lessons that built his confidence and produced positive feedback from audiences. They spoke of his humor, ease and helpful ideas. He doesn’t plan to make public speaking his profession, but he certainly presents smoothly and authentically. He knows his career options are a lot broader.

Whats Next

For skill building and practice with the mechanics of making speeches many find Toastmasters a
great resource. For those who are too anxious to attend or want individual help to master public speaking, coaching can be invaluable.

If you know a leader struggling and ready to change, call me. I offer a free consultation to explore how a coaching program might create a new future.

Use and share these practices. If you or leaders you coach are experiencing challenges similar to Mark’s and want to discuss how to achieve similar results, call me. I am never too busy for your referrals.

I offer a free consultation to explore your goals and how a coaching program can help. I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders to improve their careers, lives, and legacies. I welcome your inquires and look forward to the opportunity to assist you.

I appreciate your feedback and thoughts. I also welcome suggestions for other leadership challenges you’d like me to write about. Let me know.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”