Balancing in an Unbalanced World

Leadership Coaching Notes NOVEMBER 2010

Balancing in an Unbalanced World

An Outdated Idea?

Many people laugh when someone talks about “work-life balance.” It’s so “90’s.” It’s just impossible in today’s 24/7 world. But still…, many leaders I know long for it. What are we missing?

Fact: We’re Always Falling Off Balance

As I explored balance, I realized something I’d not noticed before: The whole need for balance would be irrelevant, except for gravity. Gravity’s force makes us fall down with every step unless we learn to balance skillfully. This reality suggested a few ideas that might help you balance when the world pulls you in too many directions.

Balance Is a Verb

Just like gravity, the forces of living demand we rebalance, with every decision, or risk crashing.
Balance is a verb, not a noun. It is not something you ever possess; it is an action you choose. With gravity, time and experience help you use a powerful internal reference system and learn a set of corrective actions that keep you upright and moving safely. You learn balancing by repetitive practice. Watch any toddler for proof.
Your physical balance depends on the sensing system in your inner ear, in those little bones, the hammer, anvil and stirrup. Your eyes also help. If you need proof, spin with your eyes closed. (Choose a safe space and open your eyes before you fall!)

Find Your Internal Sensing System for Life Balance

What is the sensing system that allows us to correct when we face threatening life forces? What signals us to correct, before we crash? How do we spot the forces that pull us away from vitality and require that we adjust quickly? (Note: these forces are often our expectations of ourselves and those we accept from others, even at times we could choose to rest, enjoy our kids, or take vacations!)

Perhaps life’s sensing system is in our hearts where we find our defining life purpose and values. When we define these clearly and consistently practice living them, they become a powerful rebalancing system. They let us know when we are acting “on purpose” vs. losing our ways. They guide us to correct wisely. How clear and alive are your purpose and values? How effectively do you use them to monitor and rebalance your life in each decision, each day?

System Over-ride

When stressed, we tend to shut down this gem of a life-balancing system and over- ride its guidance. We make excuses to ignore it or totally miss its signals. When we over-ride it, we may fall into making choices that actually make healthy balancing even harder. These choices may convince us that creating life-giving equilibrium is hopeless.

The Options

Like the toddler above who instinctively knows to return to “ground” in a stance of core support and start again, we can profoundly improve our life balance and choose for healthy vitality when we return to the grounding support of our purpose and values. Choosing these often may take courage, but will you succeed in life without them?
When children fall, they instinctively reach out for support. Sadly, when a leader senses she is falling, she reacts with flight (e.g., withdraw, focus more and try harder) or fight (e.g., overreact to the fear of “losing it” by demanding or demeaning.) How often are you short with someone when, if rested, you’d never behave this way? How often do you demean yourself just when you most need a supportive word and a “grounding” choice? Consider if it is time to reach out and ask for the support you want.
I think that, like learning to balance physically, life balance gets stronger with every healthy choice we make…even in an unbalanced world. What do you think?

What’s Next?

If you, or a leader you mentor, want to balance more skillfully in life, there are ways to learn it. Please call for a free consultation when we will explore what can assist you. I’d love to help. Our first call is always free. Email me at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com or call 703.471.7745. I look forward to hearing from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”